


Of Jedi and Spies (WIP)

by GarbonzoBean66



Series: SWTOR: OTP: Meaning Of Life [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, I'll try to put it in chronological order, Jedi Knight Storyline Spoilers, Jedi Knight Vanilla Storyline, Romance, Smut, Spoilers for many of the class stories and the expansions, Various other tags, but i make no promises of chronological order, more tags to be added as time and this thing go on, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-26 05:23:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21368842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarbonzoBean66/pseuds/GarbonzoBean66
Summary: A collection of one-shots, drabbles, fics, ficlets of various word counts that may or may not have plots attached that are centered around my Rand Legacy in game, with my Jedi Knight Jaydzia at the center (the main). They will not be in order more than likely but don't necessarily need to be.
Relationships: Female Jedi Knight | Hero of Tython/Theron Shan
Series: SWTOR: OTP: Meaning Of Life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1528604





	1. Flicker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young Jaydzia tries to meditate but is overcome with emotion and turns to her master.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually set before Scribbles.

“Meditating means clearing your mind and allowing the Force to guide you through you’re own thoughts, Jaydzia,” came the low yet always calm voice of her Master, breaking through her thoughts of her brothers. She kept her eyes closed but couldn’t suppress the wince that crossed her face. He was right, of course, she should be meditating.   
  
“I’m sorry, Master,” Jaydzia said as she attempted to refocus her attention back onto her breathing. In and out, slowly on the inhale through her nose, slowly on the exhale out through her mouth. She felt her muscles relax once more, her shoulders stooping slightly. The tension of the ordinary everyday life as a Jedi Padawan slowly melted from her frame. Then, her mind drifted once again. A memory played out across the back of her eyelids. It was a hazy memory of her brothers and…another person whose identity she was unsure of. They felt familiar but she couldn’t see any details of the person, just a silhouette on the outskirts of the small room where she watched her brothers play fight with sticks. It was then she was uncertain whether this was a memory or an imagination crafted one. She did not recognize the room, nor anything it save her brothers and the familiar sense of belonging.   
  
_The soft crying and whimpering of a baby sounded from nearby, the boys stopped their playing as the white-haired boy turned toward her and moved. _  
  
_“Shhh, little sister,” Seth said as he moved closer and crouched down in front her. Momentarily, Jaydzia was confused only to realize that she was the baby crying in this possible memory. _  
  
_The silhouette form before stepped forward, a sense of urgency and panic permeated the air as the figure was revealed to be a woman with midnight black hair. Her violet eyes looked around wildly as if looking desperately for something._  
  
_“Have you seen your father, boys?”_  
  
“Jaydzia,” Master Elav’s voice broke through her thoughts again, melting through the strange memory.   
  
“I’m sorry, Master,” She sighed and shook her head.   
  
“Do not apologize, child,” Elav said, calmly. “What is troubling you?”  
  
She opened her eyes then and met the steady blue gaze of the man who had rescued her and her brothers years ago. He radiated warmth and compassion, peace and a steady foundation where she could stop, catch her breath and center herself.   
  
“I…” She started then her gaze fell to her hands in her lap. “My brothers…”   
  
“I see. What about your brothers?”  
  
“It’s not just them,” she said, watching her fingers as she played with the hem of her blouse. “There’s a…memory or maybe its not a memory. I’m in the room I don’t recognize, Seth and Zhyzen are play fighting. They’re really young, but…there’s this figure in the back ground. I don’t know who it is until later, when she rushes in and asks my brothers where their father is.” Falling silent, she is confused by the tangle of emotion in her chest. Was that woman her mother? A sense of loss, acute and heavy threads in with the tangle of emotion.   
  
“Perhaps, Jaydzia,” Elav starts, his voice calm and quiet as always, “The Force is trying to show you something.”  
  
“If that woman is my mother, then why do I not remember her? Why don’t I remember my father?” She asks through a tight throat as she feels a stinging behind her violet eyes. A sense of loneliness washed over her suddenly. “I don’t understand why they’re gone, why Seth had to leave and why Zhyzen ran away…” A sob escapes her and she clamps a hand over her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears spilling forward. She was supposed to be a Jedi, Jedi didn’t cry like this. Did they?   
  
“Shhh,” Elav murmured as the Twi’Lek shifted his position and pulled the young Mirialan girl into a comforting hug. “I admit, I do not know the answers to all those questions. I can not tell you nor attempt to explain who or where your parents have gone. What I can tell you is that I know both of your brothers care for you a great deal, just as you do for them.”  
  
Trying to reign in her show of emotion and tears, she buried her face into his shoulder.   
  
“You are allowed to feel your emotions, Padawan,” Elav said, “The only true way to learn to control one’s emotions, is to truly know said emotions.”  
  
“But…there is no emotion, only peace. That’s the Jedi Code, Master,” She said, her voice wavering and muffled against his shoulder.  
  
“A phrase, young one,” Elav explained. “The code is something to guide us in our journey as Jedi. While it is a source of strength, of peace, the code is not a step by step manual. Life has no such thing.”  
  
“Will I ever see my brothers again?” Jaydzia asked finally after a long moment. She lifted her head and met Elav’s gaze.   
  
“What do you feel to be true about that?”  
  
She thought for a moment, uncertain if she even knew how to search for the feeling of truth that he spoke of. All she had was a small flicker of hope. “I hope so.”  
  
“As do I.” He said with a soft smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think its fair to say Elav has a slightly different view on things then most Jedi and he's clearly become attached to these 3 Mirialan Children.


	2. Scribbles

There were little waterfalls all over Tython. A few within a stone’s throw of the Jedi Temple. Jaydzia had always loved the water and she held many a fond memory of playing in those small shallow water falls and creeks that dotted the ancient home of the Jedi with her brothers. That seemed like a life time ago and in some ways it was. She was older now, as were they and… They weren’t here on Tython with her.

Over the years, she’d turned away from the water and climbed upwards, scaling the many trees as far as the branches would hold her, the various bluffs and mountainous terrain. She even scaled the Temple itself many times, much to some Masters’ chagrin and Master Elav’s amusement. She was more cautious of where and what she climbed. She wasn’t entirely sure why she felt the need, the urge to find the highest point and just be there. Whether it was some subconscious and foolish urge to get away from the good memories of her brothers that now served as reminders of their absence, or the childish hope that had never truly died that one day, she would seem them amongst the wilderness of Tython.

Or perhaps, it was simply a place she could call her own, however temporary, and just…be.

Sometimes, she would meditate. Other times, she would study. There were even times when she would simply take in the beauty of Tython stretched out before her.

There were days, however, where she would take flimsi and a satchel of sketching utensils Master Elav had helped her make and just sketch whatever it was she saw.

Today, it was a waterfall. One of the larger ones on Tython, far enough from the Jedi temple where she could enjoy the sounds of the world around her without the interruptions of her fellow padawans training. Scribble upon scribble, page after page, she drew the waterfall in various imagined seasons. The final page, however, was different. It was a mix of a memory and a dream.

Three small figures played in the water.

The scribbles ceased when her holo-beeped. The unfinished illustration was folded then packed away in the sketch pad of flimsi.

It would be many years before it was found again.


End file.
